arthur's columns

I realized that I have neglected to keep you updated on Arthur's columns and he usually writes something about the baby every other week or so. So, let me try to get you caught up. (I think I'm missing one that he typed from work, so I'll have to get that one up later) There have been several readers of the Times who have commented that they enjoy reading his columns about the baby and that it has been a great way for them to keep up with what's going on with us.

Jan 22, 2009
When I mentioned the other day that we’d been to the “baby birthin’ class” Bridgett was quick to correct me that it was called the “child birth education class.”
Well, okay, but we are birthin’ a baby aren’t we? Even though I’ve joked that I wouldn’t mind if we birthed an 18 year old instead. Okay, we’re birthing a child too.
Either way, I never birthed a baby before and “I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies.” At least, I didn’t know much until I took the baby birthin’, I mean child birthing class. Usually the classes stretch across several weeks, but luckily for us, they offer the busy executive and country mouse out-of-towners classes on a Saturday to fit in with our busy schedules on account of us being out of town all the time.
Come to think of it, that’s what busy executives do too. They spend a lot of time out of town. Why, if all us country folk got together and rented ourselves an office and hired us a secretary to tell folks we were away from the office on business (a perfectly true account most days), we’d wind up looking pretty important. Might even qualify for one of those nice government bailouts.
But anyway, I survived the child birthing class, but just barely. Men, let me tell you something if you’re about to have a baby or planning to have one. If you go to a child birthing class, be prepared to be lit into for no other reason than the fact that you were able to procreate.
There are folks out there who can take advantage of just about any opportunity to complain about something. And if they’re not complaining, they sure sound like it. Well Saturday, one of those people wound up being my teacher and I felt like I spent seven hours getting fussed at for things I haven’t done and haven’t even had a chance to do all on account of just happening to be built differently.
Now, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, at least in retrospect, so my teacher might have just been having a bad day at the office, we all have them, and sometimes we’re not on our A-game, and that’s what I’m going with here.
All that means is to say, I held my tongue in class. But one poor fella in the class, well, four hours of it was about all he could take and he started talking back to the teacher. She’d say something like “you men better not come home and plop on the couch watching TV and not change that baby.” And it would just be too much for him, and he’d reply with something like “oh, I’m gonna change the baby alright, don’t you worry about that!”
Luckily, nobody got their feelings too hurt and maybe all us mean ol’ men needed to hear that kind of stuff anyway. But my fellow men, you have been warned.

Feb 5, 2009
Contrary to popular belief, baby McLean is not here yet. Soon, but not here yet. But with the ticking of the clock and the kicking of the belly, there are still a few decisions that have to be made. We’ve put them off, forgotten about them, and then put them off some more, but we’re just about out of time now. I won’t go into too many details about what those decisions are, but I’ve had a lot of people ask me if the baby’s here yet. My answer, not yet. Although Bridgett tried to pull a joke on me the other day that it was coming sooner than expected. That one didn’t work.

Feb 26, 2009
By the time you read this column next week, I’ll be a brand spanking new daddy. And I’m getting a cold just in time for the blessed occasion as well. The ladies here at the paper say it’s nerves. Could be. I’ll admit to being nervous. I’ve never done this before.
I’ve always said I like new challenges and so the Good Lord has seen fit to make so as I don’t have to go looking very far any more. I’ll have a whole lifetime of them, starting with day one.
I would also like to humbly apologize to my poor long-suffering parents for all the grief I put them through over the years. As one reader, who shall remain nameless said with a maniacal laugh while closing the door: “It’s coming for ya!”
Yes, it’s coming for me alright. I can hear the footsteps of the poor judgements and shortsighted snap decisions of my youth creeping up from behind me even now. They are the ghosts of youth now past, come to haunt my Scrooge-like maturity as I worry about the responsibility for the life now in my hands.
All kidding aside, it is getting pretty exciting around here. Everything’s pulling together with all the last touches coming at the final moment. As if anyone had any doubt. I just hope I don’t sneeze on the baby.



I go to the dr. tomorrow for the last prenatal visit. So, expect one more blog before you get the arrival announcement!